Too Good At Goodbyes
by CrazyClouds
Summary: "If you use this technique, you will lose all your Shinigami powers... Farewell, Ichigo." Ichigo has said goodbye too many times; he doesn't want to do it again. Rated M so I can do/say whatever. Starts at the final fight with Aizen. Canon-divergent AU with character death. IchiRuki, because they've been through too much together to ever be apart again. Fuck canon IchiHime
1. Chapter 1

" _The fate of what you want to protect is none of my concern."_

" _Don't misunderstand, Ichigo. What you want to protect is not what_ I _want to protect."_

" _Both of us… are your power!"_

" _What is this? Why is it… that I only sense sadness flowing from his blade?"_

" _What I wanted to protect… was you, Ichigo!"_

" _If you use this technique, you will lose all your Shinigami powers…"_

" _Farewell, Ichigo."_

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo stared at Aizen, watching as what was once a man became something… More. Not quite better. More powerful, for sure, but also more depraved. It was pitiful, honestly, seeing a person who was once so proud sink to this level of insanity. Not that Aizen wasn't crazy before, but he was far more subtle and suave about it. Now, on the other hand, screaming every other word and surrendering control to his superiority complex...

It was disgusting. There was no other word to describe this transformation.

" **Yes… This is inexcusable, isn't it, Hogyoku?"**

Aizen's voice was incredibly distorted by his Hollowfication, more so than the Vizards. The Arrancar sounded like humans, for some strange reason; probably because most of their masks didn't cover their mouths. As for the ones which did, well...

" **That I let a mere human get the better of me!"**

One of the heads on Aizen's wings let loose a purple Cero. It was extremely fast, covering the distance between the two quickly. It touched down with the force of a hydrogen bomb, and even had the mushroom cloud to match. Ichigo shunpoed a few hundred meters back, avoiding the brunt of the explosion.

Ichigo was slightly perturbed by the sheer amount of dust that was kicked up… Imagine if _that_ had been in his room? Yuzu would have had a fit. The teen shuddered slightly, thinking about the rant he would get if he ever let his room get that bad, then decided to clean up every week, as opposed to every month like before.

Focusing back on the fight at hand, Ichigo noticed that the shockwaves from the Cero had subsided, leaving him a clear line to Aizen. Dashing at the madman, the Substitute Shinigami crossed the area faster than a Vice-Captain's shunpo with pure leg strength. Aizen was prepared, and raised his blade to parry. He was not, however, prepared for Ichigo's blade to pass through his. The Shinigami had shunpoed fast enough to leave behind a very solid after-image, using the distraction to slash across the astounded Aizen's back. There was a large amount of blood, but it sealed up nearly instantly. That Hogyoku was getting pretty annoying.

" **So what if you are faster than me!? You are not powerful enough to harm me, a transcendent being!"**

Aizen was, too.

"Well, that scratch I just put on your back begs to differ," Ichigo shot back, as Aizen spun around to face him.

Aizen let loose an unintelligible roar of rage, and leapt at Ichigo, who simply slapped the madman's blade away with his bare hand. Unable to change directions quickly enough, the monster was left moving forward with no way to stop. The Shinigami left a large gash across his chest for his troubles. Jumping back once more, Aizen simply stared at Ichigo, the hatred conveyed by his mere gaze nearly tangible.

"What's wrong, Aizen? Why did you retreat just now?"

Shouting once more, Aizen poured all of his considerable strength into speed, exploding forward at the Substitute. When Ichigo did not react, the monster allowed himself a smug smirk, grabbing his opponents face. The heads on his wings circled around Ichigo, each one charging up a purple Cero. Instead of blasting him, the Ceros formed a ring of energy around Ichigo's neck.

" **I have you at my mercy now, human! You can beg all you want, but I shall not spare you!"** Aizen let out a warbling laugh, obviously pleased with himself.

"Are you done?"

" **...Huh?"**

With a single swipe of his sword, Ichigo dispersed the Cero ring and knocked Aizen back about 20 meters.

"I'm getting tired of playing your games, Aizen… I'm ending this now." The monster had no chance to reply, when Ichigo vanished. The Shinigami appeared above him, sword raised high into the air. "Getsuga Tenshou."

The red-tinted black reiatsu slammed into Aizen like a mountain being dropped on him from orbit. It didn't help that Ichigo had compressed the technique, meaning all the power was concentrated into a rather small area. The transcendent being went flying into the ground like a meteor, and ended up burrowing under a couple dozen meters. Before he could get up, though, Ichigo was there again.

"If the Hogyoku is what's giving you all this strength, then I just have to remove it, right?" With that, Ichigo reached into Aizen's chest- and _pulled_. The monster let out an unholy shriek, which hurt Ichigo's ears, but the Strawberry ignored it in favor of using his sword to carve up Aizen's chest and loosen the orb. It was taking quite a bit of effort to get the stone out, but Ichigo finally managed. He jumped up out of the hole, and waited at the edge to see if Aizen would get up. He was not disappointed when Aizen leapt out seconds later.

" **GIVE IT BACK!"**

"...What are you, a child?"

" **HOGYOKU, RETURN TO ME!"** Nothing happened. The stone didn't budge.

"Did you seriously expect that to work? This isn't friggin' Pokemon…"

Aizen let loose a roar which made his previous ones seem like yawns. Ichigo was sure the monster's vocal chords were torn up from that, which was lucky, since his poor ears probably wouldn't survive another one of those.

The madman leapt forward, sword flashing dangerously close to Ichigo's neck. It was a testament to Ichigo's superior kinetic vision and reaction time that he leaned back the perfect amount, purposely allowing the blade to kiss his neck every time. Aizen seemed to notice- or he at least saw Ichigo's confident smirk- because his wing heads burst into activity. They began tossing purple Ceros every which way.

Ichigo saw a few of them heading to the fake Karakura Town. If his friends (and other innocent people) hadn't been there, he probably would have let it go, but he obviously couldn't do that. The Shinigami decided to have a little fun, despite how bleak the situation seemed. He shunpoed to the out-of-control Ceros, and smacked them with the flat of Tensa Zangetsu, sending them back at Aizen. A couple were canceled out by random return fire, but Aizen wasn't very lucky; the majority hit the monster with their full force, blowing holes into him which desperately attempted to heal. Without the Hogyoku's extra power, it was a bit slow. After a minute of playing a dangerous game of baseball, Ichigo noticed that Aizen had finally stopped blasting everything. The monster was lying face-down on the ground, limbs splayed out and bent at awkward angles. They began to slowly twist back into place when Ichigo landed in front of the prone form of Aizen.

"Guess you really aren't so powerful without this thing…" Ichigo commented lightly, examining the Hogyoku, which was still gripped in his offhand. Ichigo was in slight awe of the intellectual prowess of Kisuke Urahara, the man who'd managed to invent something that could create gods, given enough time. He also swore to kick the shop owner's ass the next time he saw him, for putting Ichigo through so much trouble.

" **You… Brat… Give it…Back…"**

Aizen was slowly clawing his way over to Ichigo, and finally managed to get close enough to grab Ichigo's ankle. The madman's hand was trembling, and his grip was slack, as if that crawl has sapped the last of his energy. Deciding to take pity on his opponent, the Shinigami swung his blade down and decapitated the transcendent being. A rather anticlimactic end to such a vicious opponent, but Ichigo wasn't going to wait for Aizen to pull a deus ex machina. He was fine with some peace and quiet, especially after the last few months of madness. To think, he had been a normal, spirit-seeing high-schooler just last year. Now...

" _Ichigo. Aizen's sword… Grab it."_

"...Tensa Zangetsu? How the hell are you talking right now?"

" _I am a part of your soul, fool. I could always do this, I simply did not wish to deal with your stupidity on a regular basis. Now, grab the sword!"_

Ichigo complied, slightly offended, and also wondering if he had just technically insulted himself. With a sigh, he gripped AIzen's blade. The Hogyoku clinked against it gently- he had to hold them in the same hand because his sword hand was kinda stuck as a gauntlet. A badass gauntlet, but still annoying.

Ichigo was suddenly drawn into his inner world.

* * *

"Woah! Zangetsu, what the fu-!" Ichigo was silenced by flashing colors assaulting his eyes. "Zangetsu!" He called out, fearing something was happening to his Zanpakuto, and by extension, himself. A hand grabbed his shoulder, turning him around forcefully.

" _I am fine, Ichigo. Focus more on_ that." Tensa Zangetsu- since Ichigo hadn't released his Bankai state- pointed towards the center of the disco-strobe-flashbang clusterfuck.

"What the actual fuck am I looking at?"

" _It seems as if your soul is about to become a bit more… crowded."_

"Oi, that sounds dangerous..."

" _It would be, if it weren't you."_

"What does that mean!?"

" _You'll see…"_

"Fuckin' cryptic-ass old- uh, young man." A figure stepped out of the flashing lights, followed by another. Slowly, the miniature star faded away, leaving behind what looked to be a woman and a man.

The woman was tall- not taller than Ichigo, but tall for a female (definitely taller than Rukia). She had green hair, was wearing an ornate kimono, which was long enough to almost be dragging on the ground, and was carrying a sheathed sword in her right hand. The left hand was covering the lower half of her face with the baggy sleeve of the kimono. Ichigo had a feeling there was a lot going on underneath that kimono, but he wasn't about to try and find out.

The man… looked like Aizen. The same angular face, slicked back hair with a single strand hanging down, and that damned arrogant smirk that the bastard wore everywhere. However, Ichigo knew he wasn't Aizen. For one thing, Aizen didn't have purple hair. Aizen also definitely didn't wear glasses; the man had discarded those things months ago at the conclusion of the Seireitei invasion. That shade of purple seemed familiar, but Ichigo couldn't quite put his finger on it. The two strangers walked forward with purpose, eyes trained directly on Ichigo.

"Oi, Zangetsu… Why are they looking at me like that? It's creepy as hell."

" _This level of stupidity is the exact reason I don't speak to you more often."_ Ichigo could only gape at his Zanpakuto. How the fuck was he just supposed to know two random spirits? Zangetsu rolled his eyes. " _Think, Ichigo! What happened the instant before you came here?"_

"Uh, I grabbed Aizen's s-..." Ichigo trailed off, eyes widening in realization. "Kyoka Suigetsu!" He shouted, pointing at the woman. She seemed rather amused.

"Oh? And what tipped you off, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Your hair. It's the same shade of green as the guard on Aizen's sword."

Kyoka Suigetsu scowled for a moment, irritated that she was referred to as Aizen's sword.

" **And what about me, Kurosaki Ichigo?"** This time it was the man who spoke. He even had the same distorted, growling voice as Aizen's transcendent form.

The Shinigami stared at him for a good minute.

Then he turned to Tensa Zangetsu, his facial expression showing his utter confusion, silently asking for assistance.

Zangetsu sighed, and stabbed Ichigo in the neck.

* * *

Ichigo woke up screaming. He had had the weirdest dream; two strangers had peacefully invaded his inner world, one of them being Kyoka Suigetsu, the other an Aizen look-a-like, and then Zangetsu stabbed him.

Oh, wait.

" _Zangetsu!_ What the _fuck!?_ "

" _Relax. You wouldn't have died… probably."_

"Oh, because that's _so_ reassuring. You can't just do shit like that!"

" _I can, and I did. Shall I do it again?"_ Tensa Zangetsu lifted his sword a bit, to emphasize his point.

"No! Never do that again!"

" _Maybe if you weren't such an idiot, we wouldn't have these issues."_

"Listen, how the fuck am I supposed to know who that purple Aizen is!?"

Zangetsu sighed. " _Think, Ichigo. Regardless of how hard that is for you-"_

"Oi!"

" _What else were you holding when you picked up Kyoka Suigetsu?"_

"Uh...wait, are you serious!?"

Ichigo quickly stood up from his prone position, and speed walked over to the purple Aizen.

Shoving his finger in his face, Ichigo shouted, "You're the Hogyoku!?"

" **Yes. Now, if you could please move your hand…"** The now identified Hogyoku pushed the Shinigami's hand aside gently. " **Didn't anyone ever tell you pointing is rude?"** Since he hadn't quite gotten over his shock, Ichigo's hand simply returned to its previous position. The Hogyoku was thoroughly annoyed.

" **Move yer hand, dammit!"** The stone slammed a fist down on Ichigo's head, eliciting a yelp of shock. Crocodile tears sprang up in Ichigo's eyes as he crouched down and held his head.

"Ow! Ya know, I figured you woulda been above such 'crude behaviours', considering you were part of Aizen."

" **Hmph. That man was as lecherous as Kyoraku Shunsui, and more depraved than Kurotsuchi Mayuri. Why else do you think he had such a scantily-clothed Arrancar in his Espada? Let me tell you, it wasn't for her power!"**

"...I mean, she _was_ pretty hot, though."

" **Yes, but that does not excuse his constant staring whenever she was in the room. It was positively disgusting, the lack of self-control he had."** Ichigo chuckled at the mental image, before refocusing back on some more important manners.

"How are you here, anyways?"

" **Ask her."** Hogyoku pointed at Kyoka Suigetsu, who had heard the entire conversation and seemed… Less than pleased.

"Pigs." Ichigo shrank into himself a little bit, wishing he could just leave and deal with this later. Hogyoku simply chuckled.

"Oh well. I suppose men will be men, unfortunately. As for how we are here, that is simple; I wished to be."

"Uh… what?"

" **It was not quite that simple, Kurosaki Ichigo. Kyoka Suigetsu was terrified of dying, as that is what surely would have happened once Aizen Sousuke's soul had completely faded in the next few minutes. She desperately wished to survive, and I determined this to be the best course of action."**

"Then… How did Zangetsu know I needed to pick up the sword?"

" _ **That**_ **is easy; I told him, when you held me in your hand."**

Ichigo's mouth opened as if to ask another question, but he thought better of it. "Alright… Listen, we can deal with this later, once I take care of things in the outside world, 'kay?"

" **That is agreeable. Farewell for now, Kurosaki Ichigo."** With that, the purple Aizen faded out of view. Ichigo waved at Kyoka Suigetsu, who soon followed Hogyoku. Tensa Zangetsu was the only one who remained. He stared at his wielder anxiously, and the two remained quiet for a moment.

" _Ichigo… Why?"_ The Zanpakuto broke the silence. The Shinigami seemed quite confused by the vague question.

"Why what?"

" _Why… Did you not use the Final Getsuga Tenshou?"_

"Turns out I didn't need it. You saw how easily I beat Aizen with a few well-aimed strikes, right? Besides... I remembered what you said earlier, and I don't want to say goodbye. Not to you. Not to anyone else... " The teen became slightly introspective for a moment, eyes glazing over in grief, before he refocused on his previous task. "Anyways, see ya later- by the way, that's a promise." Ichigo faded away with a grin on his face, non-gauntleted hand raised in a wave.

Tensa Zangetsu remained, looking for all the world like he was about to cry. However, these tears would not cause rain in the inner world; these were not tears of strife. No, these were tears of joy.

The joy of being wanted, despite the terrible things he had done.

* * *

 **Cleaned a bit.**


	2. Chapter 2

Back in the outside world, nothing had changed. Ichigo was still knelt in front of Aizen's corpse, still clutching the Hogyoku and Kyoka Suigetsu in his non-gauntleted hand. With a swift pair of slices, most of Aizen's hand had been relieved of its grip on the Zanpakuto. Since the sheath was nowhere to be found, Ichigo held the naked blade in his offhand, and stared down at Aizen's mutilated body. Surrounding the Strawberry was barren, destroyed landscape, a few sheared mountaintops, and many displaced trees. At the very least, Karakura Town seemed to be in more or less one piece.

Unsure of what to do, Ichigo resigned himself to waiting around for someone to come scout the remnants of the battle. The Substitute Shinigami sat down on the flat ground, then lay back to look up at the clouds.

* * *

The Captains of the Gotei 13 found Kurosaki Ichigo sleeping on the ground near AIzen's corpse, snoring rather loudly, with a bit of drool pooling on the ground under his head. Soifon made to kick him awake, but was stopped by Kyoraku.  
"Maa, maa, little bee-" The man had to hastily avoid an indignant strike, "-Woah! We should let the poor boy rest. After all, he _did_ just finish a war."

"Of course _you_ would advocate laziness, you drunkard!" Soifon cried. "Regardless of what he has done, the Captain-Commander needs to hear of what transpired here!" She looked at Yamamoto, silently asking for backup. The Captain-Commander remained silent for a bit, examining the boy, before focusing on the silver blade held in his offhand.

"...Yes. Wake the boy, Soifon"

Said Captain shot a smug smirk at Kyoraku, who merely shook his head in exasperation. Soifon resumed her previous position, and this time succeeded in planting a foot in the boy's ribs. Oddly enough, the woman ended up crouched on the ground, nursing her very bruised foot. Ichigo merely grumbled in his sleep, then rolled over- right into his puddle of spit.

"Herfgh… Aw, nasty!" The Substitute Shinigami shot up, then roughly scrubbed at his face with his remaining Shihakusho sleeve, looking rather irritated by the rude awakening. Many of the present Captains expressed varying degrees of amusement, and it was Kenpachi Zaraki's boisterous laugh which drew the boy's attention.

"Oh, when did you guys get here? I've been waiting, like… a long ass time!"

"We have only just arrived, Kurosaki Ichigo, but we have wasted enough time. Can you confirm that Aizen Sousuke is, indeed, dead?"

A nod was the only response.

"Excellent. Now, about that sword in your hand…" Temporarily forgetting about Kyoka Suigetsu, Ichigo held up Tensa Zangetsu with a less than amused expression.

"Well, see, this is _Zangetsu_. You know, the sword I had since the beginning?"

Eyebrow twitching in annoyance, Yamamoto spoke again, far more forcefully.

"We already know about that sword, foolish boy! I am speaking of the _other_ one; Kyoka Suigetsu." Understanding dawned on Ichigo's face, as his mouth widened in a silent ' _Ohhh'_.

"Right… I just kinda, picked her up, ya know? Spoils of war, and all that jazz." When Yamamoto opened a single eye to stare at Ichigo, the teen nervously chuckled. Despite the fact that he was fairly certain he could handle the old man, considering Aizen beat Yamamoto, and Ichigo beat Aizen, it was still unnerving.

"Old man, has anyone ever told you you're creepy as hell?" The surrounding Captains openly gaped/snickered, while Yamamoto simply closed his eye.

"Duly noted. Captain Kurotsuchi, you may have Aizen's corpse for your… _Research_." The clown's deranged giggles interrupted the Commander, sounding nearly orgasmic. "Captains Kyoraku and Ukitake will oversee the proper return of Karakura Town, including it's restoration. Captain Unohana, attend to the wounded. The rest of you will oversee the reorganization of our troops. Dismissed.

With a collective chant of "Hai", the Captains vanished, leaving Ichigo alone with Yamamoto.

The Commander didn't say anything for a long moment, simply regarding Ichigo as if he were a particularly annoying puzzle. Of course, the man didn't show any of it on his face; he had far too much control of himself to let anything like that happen. It was just the general vibe Ichigo got from him.

Finally, Yamamoto spoke, "Meet me in my office in three days. We have much to discuss, Kurosaki Ichigo." Without giving the Substitute Shinigami a chance to respond, the Captain Commander shunpoed away.

"Well, that was… intense."

* * *

Three days passed fairly quickly.

After doing a bit of scavenging, Ichigo finally managed to find Kyoka Suigetsu's sheathe, in the area with the highest collateral damage. Kyoka Suigetsu had said this was where Aizen made his first transformation, where his Zanpakuto became fused to his right hand, rendering the sheathe useless. It was after Ichimaru Gin's betrayal, according to the Hogyoku, when Aizen 'evolved' due to fear of not being able to survive. The pure white scabbard was a bit scratched up, but could easily be repaired with a bit of paint and polishing.

Ichigo had also released his Bankai, to find some… interesting, changes. It seemed he was currently no longer able to disperse Bankai- most likely his Reiatsu levels were too high- but the gauntlet had dematerialized, and a void black sheathe had suddenly appeared on his back. The chain wrapped around his right arm melted into the sleeve of his Shihakusho, which was a fairly odd sensation. The two reappeared whenever he held Tensa Zangetsu.

Zangetsu had said that when Ichigo finally got some Reiatsu control, he would be able to lower his power levels to the point where he could return to Shikai, and eventually completely seal his Zanpakuto, which Ichigo was eager for. If there was one thing he hadn't liked about the massive cleaver, it was the unwieldiness. He was thankful Tensa Zangetsu was so slim; the Substitute Shinigami much preferred technique over force, supported by the fact that he was an avid practitioner of Taekwondo. Unfortunately, some things required the subtlety of a brick.

Despite what Tatsuki thought, Ichigo had never stopped training. Just because he left the dojo doesn't mean he couldn't practice at home, and for whatever reason, Goat-Chin knew quite a bit about martial arts. He was also willing to be more ruthless than the dojo's sensei, which pushed Ichigo to improve faster than ever. It had been a while since the two had a serious spar, something Ichigo sought to remedy once the dust cleared and the water settled. It would be a good way to get used to his Human body again, as well as reconnect with his dad after the recent events tore him from home.

Chad and Orihime returned home to help the Eighth and Thirteenth divisions resettle Karakura Town, as well as take a much needed break. Ishida had immediately sought out his father, Ryuken, and demanded more training. It had been a humiliating experience for the young Quincy, to have his ass handed to him so many times by _Hollow scum_. Urahara and the Vizards also returned to Karakura Town, though mostly kept to themselves. Jinta, Tessai, and Ururu went back to the Shoten, while Yoruichi remained in Seireitei to bug Soifon.

Isshin, with nothing better to do, accepted the Captain Commander's offer (order) to become a Captain again, and was assigned to the Ninth Division. Goat-Chin was fairly happy with this, as his old subordinates were now his neighbors. He especially had fun irritating Captain Hitsugaya with his "Shiro-chan" nickname.

Now, Ichigo was seated in the First Division's Captain's Quarters, staring down Yamamoto.

"So… I'm here. What did you need to talk to me about?" Ichigo began. Yamamoto remained silent for a moment, seemingly content with the quiet, before cracking open his ancient eyes.

"I wish to examine Kyoka Suigetsu." Slightly taken aback by the unexpected request, Ichigo complied, unclipping the white sheath which rest on his waist, and handing it over. The Captain Commander stared at it for a few seconds, then took hold of the sword. Without a word, the old man unsheathed the blade, setting the scabbard to the side. For some odd reason, the man was hesitating to touch the metal, his fingers hovering over it for a time, before glancing at Ichigo. It almost seemed as if the old man was asking permission.

"You can touch the sword if you want, old man. Just stop being so… _Weird_ about it! Honestly, the worst thing you could do is leave a fingerprint. She won't shatter just like that." Raising an eyebrow at the teen's brashness (and his seemingly innocent word choice), Yamamoto proceeded to poke the steel, then exhaled slightly deeper than normal, in what seemed to be a sigh of relief, when Ichigo remained Ichigo.

The Captain Commander resheathed the sword, then handed it back to the Substitute Shinigami. "It seems you are not secretly Aizen, tricking us all with an even more complex illusion than before."

"Uh… what?"

"You know of Kyoka Suigetsu's Shikai abilities."

Ichigo nodded as realization hit like a hammer.

"Ya know, that's pretty rude, suspecting like that for no reason."

"And what would you have me do? You show up with such a drastic change in appearances and defeat Aizen, something the combined might of the Gotei 13 could not do, and you expect me to simply accept this without question? It is entirely possible that Aizen could have masqueraded as you, and then would slaughter us while are weakened and surprised."

"Yeah, but old man, you _just_ said you guys couldn't beat Aizen, right? So if he killed me, he could have slaughtered you all without the fanciness." Yamamoto made to reply, but seemed to be stumped by Ichigo's logic.

"...You are correct. My apologies, Kurosaki Ichigo."

The Strawberry's orange eyebrows shot up into his orange hair. The old man, probably one of the most proud people he knew of (behind Kuchiki Byakuya and Aizen), had just apologized- he even bowed his head a bit!

"It-it's alright, old man. I guess you had a right to be suspicious… It's your duty to make sure Soul Society is safe, and me being Aizen would probably be the exact opposite of that." Yamamoto nodded.

"Now that we have finished that, I have a real question for you; what will you do now?" Ichigo was silent for a few moments.

"I haven't really thought about it much, but… I guess I'll go back to the Living World? My friends are still there, and I haven't finished school yet, so…"

"Ah, yes, you are still a student. After all you have done for Soul Society, all the power you have, it is often easy to forget you are still a child." Ichigo was going to retort, but then reconsidered when he remembered Yamamoto was over a thousand years old. Just about everyone in Seireitei was a child to him, and the Substitute Shinigami let that be known.

"Damn, you really are old, old man." Yamamoto simply chuckled, knowing the teen's thought process. All young people hated being called young, despite the fact that it was true.

"That I am, Kurosaki Ichigo. That I am."

The two sat in comfortable silence, simply sipping the previously neglected tea that Sasakibe Chojiro, Yamamoto's Vice-Captain, had brought in at the beginning of the conversation. The Captain Commander's face slowly became stony again, and he put down his tea cup. Ichigo, sensing the importance of the man's next words, also set down his cup.

"Unfortunately, Kurosaki Ichigo, I cannot allow you to return the Living World." Ichigo froze, brain unable to completely process what his ears had heard.

"Wh-what the hell-!?" The Substitute Shinigami was so surprised, he could hardly finish his sentence.

"Fear not, Kurosaki-san, you are not being punished for anything. It is merely because you cannot control your enormous Reiatsu, and would disintegrate any humans you came into contact with, regardless of the fact that it is too high to actually register. Until you learn to conceal your power, you must stay in Seireitei." Ichigo calmed down slightly, before blanching at the thought of accidentally killing all of the students at Karakura High.

'Uh, yeah. That's probably for the best. How am I supposed to learn to do that, by the way?"

"Hm… Perhaps Captain Soifon can assist you. After all, it is a requirement for the Onmitsukido to be able to hide your presence, which includes your Reiatsu. Shihouin Yoruichi could also help you, for the same reasons. Either that, or you could ask the Twelfth Division for a limiter similar to Captain Zaraki."

"Um, no thanks. I've seen that thing, and those little teeth are weird… I guess I could ask Yoruichi. After all, it's not like she has any duties or missions to perform. She's just wandering around and bugging Soifon."

"Excellent. Onto the next order of business; your father."

"Ugh, what did Goat-Chin do now?"

Yamamoto chuckled. "He did nothing wrong, Kurosaki-san. I trust you know of his decision to rejoin the Gotei 13?" Ichigo nodded.

"Considering all you have done for us, I feel I must extend an invitation to you, as well. Should you wish, you can also join your father as a Captain of Soul Society."

Ichigo nodded his head slowly, measuring his response. "Well, thanks for the offer, but I don't think I'm really cut out for that. I've heard about the paperwork from pretty much everyone, and I don't want to deal with it." Yamamoto simply nodded, as if he was expecting this response. He made to speak, but stopped when the Substitute held up his hand.

" _But_ , I do know some pretty powerful people who can fill in those empty Captain's seats. I think you know 'em, too."

"...The Vizards, I suppose. You are not wrong- they would be wonderful Captains, considering they once were. However, you must also take into account the fact that we wrongfully exiled them, for something they had no control of. I do not believe they would rejoin us, after such a betrayal."

"Yeah, but they came to help you guys! I think-!"

"They came to help _you_ , Kurosaki Ichigo. They did not seem particularly concerned with _our_ fate."

"That wasn't it at all, and you know it! They've just been isolated for so long they don't know how to show that they care! If you would just give them a _chance_ , I think they would take up the positions in a heartbeat."

Yamamoto was quiet, for a few long moments. Almost too long for Ichigo.

"...They shall receive a full pardon for their past transgressions-"

"What _transgressions_?" Yamamoto glared at Ichigo, cowing him into silence.

"-And I shall send an offer for them to retake their previous positions. However, I will only send one messenger. If they choose to refuse, then that will be the end of it. We have no right to make any demands of them, especially after what we have done."

"That's fine! You'll only need one messenger, you'll see! Matter of fact, I'll do it myself!" Yamamoto bowed his head, reminiscing about the great Shinigami the Vizards had been before that bastard Aizen had corrupted their souls. He was also going over Ichigo's resolve to right past wrongs, impressed that the young man could be so optimistic after war.

"Perhaps, Kurosaki-san. Although, while we're on the topic of reinstating previous Captains, why don't you ask Urahara Kisuke, Tsukabishi Tessai, and Shihouin Yoruichi?"

"Weren't they pardoned already? They could have requested it… unless they just didn't want to seem clingy. That's probably it, knowing that damned shopkeeper." Ichigo clenched a fist, vowing to punch Urahara for causing this whole mess. "I guess I can ask 'em about it, though." Yamamoto took a sip of his tea, using the cup to hide his near-grin. He didn't want to creep the teen out anymore, after all.

"Yes, well, your problems with Urahara-san aside, I believe that is all I needed to discuss with you. You may go do as you young people do, causing trouble and noise wherever you go. And remember, if you ever tire of the Human World..."

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. "Whatever, old man. See ya around."

And with that, Ichigo shunpoed out the open window, leaving behind a spilled cup of tea. It was Yamamoto's eyebrow that twitched this time.

"Insolent brat… Chojiro!"

* * *

Unsure of where to find Yoruichi, Ichigo headed to the Second Division quarters. He was fairly certain that the Flash Goddess was mostly following Soifon around, and the Captain didn't seem to do much other than work, so it was probably a safe bet. Upon arrival, he caught the attention of one of the squad members walking by.

"Um, excuse me! Do you know where Captain Soifon is? I need to find Yoruichi, and I figured that she'd know."

The man nodded, and gestured for Ichigo to follow. Without a word, the two walked through the halls of the Second Division, until Ichigo was stood in front of a normal sliding door. He thanked the man, who promptly walked away, then knocked on what he assumed to be the Captain's door.

"You may come in." A woman's voice called out, which Ichigo vaguely recognized as Soifon. The two had rarely interacted in the past. Ichigo was not expecting an assault upon entrance, and as a result, ended up on the floor. The Strawberry blinked, uncomprehendingly, as laughter filled the room. Sitting up, the Substitute looked around, and his eyes landed right on Yoruichi's naked form. Said eyes nearly popped out his head, and he scrambled back to get enough space to right himself without accidentally touching her. Apparently, Yoruichi had been residing in her cat form prior to the interruption, and transformed abruptly to attack Ichigo, if Soifon's surprised expression was anything to go by.

"Ha! You shoulda seen the look on yer face, Strawberry!" Yoruichi wheezed between laughs.

Ichigo rolled his eyes, used to the woman's antics. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I came to ask you for help, but considering you're too busy having fun, I can just ask Soifon."

"Hmm? And what is it that you need from me, Kurosaki?"

"I need someone to teach me how to suppress my reiatsu. The old man said if I tried going back to the Human World like this, I'd end up disintegrating everyone I touch."

Soifon pondered this for a moment. "Yes, I can help you. It is a requirement for the Onmitsukido to be able to take your reiatsu to near non-existent… However, this will not be free! I will likely have to spend a lot of time helping someone with your reiryoku reserves, and my time is valuable."

Ichigo rubbed his chin, in deep thought, before nodding his head. "Alright. Yoruichi, I challenge you to a game of Shunpo Tag. If you lose, you have to stay in Soul Society until Soifon says you can leave, or an emergency comes up where your skills would be better suited elsewhere." Ichigo turned to Soifon. "That enough for ya?"

Soifon rolled her eyes. "How arrogant. To think a lowly human would be able to match the wonderful Yoruichi-sama in her specialty…" Soifon trailed off, and scoffed, no doubt insulting Ichigo some more in her head. "But, fine. If you _really_ believe you can do it- which you cannot- I will not stop your attempt."

Ichigo grinned. "Well, Yoruichi? You up for it?"

Yoruichi smirked. "Strawberry, you're a thousand years too early to even think about challenging the Flash Goddess to a shunpo match. Guess I'll have to beat the arrogance outta ya! Soifon, count it down!"

Yoruichi lowered herself slightly, every muscle tensed to move in less than an instant. Ichigo didn't shift at all, something which slightly irritated Yoruichi.

"Players, get ready! Begin in three, two, one… Go!"

Ichigo had his arm wrapped around Yoruichi's throat before Soifon's hand, which was raised to emphasize the signal, could drop.

Speaking of dropping, one could have heard a pin drop with how silent the room was.

' _Fast!'_ the two women thought in unison. Yoruichi could scarcely comprehend that Ichigo had not even blurred in her superior kinetic vision- the teen simply _vanished_.

"Well, I won. Guess I'm getting those lessons. Right, Soifon?" he asked teasingly.

The Captain could only nod, unable to formulate words for a moment. She cleared her throat and finally gathered her thoughts. "Yes. As a matter of fact, we shall begin now, so please _unhand Yoruichi-sama_."

The Substitute forgot he had Yoruichi subdued, since she had moved at all. Soifon saw the momentary surprise on his face, and got slightly annoyed. ' _How could anyone forget about such a goddess!? Foolish boy, anyone with a brain would_ kill _to be in that position!_ '

However, Soifon didn't let her face even twitch- perks of being an assassin. She would simply make the teen's training much harder to compensate.

"Well, let's get started. First thing, release your Bankai. It increases your reiatsu output by five to ten times."

"See, there's an issue with that… I kinda can't."

Soifon closed her eyes for a moment, and pinched her nose bridge.

"Kurosaki, I really thought there was a limit to how _stupid_ a soul could be…"

"Hey, it's not my fault! Zangetsu said I couldn't, because my reiatsu is too high to drop Bankai!"

"And what would happen if you did?"

' _Uh, Tensa, why can't we go back to Shikai?'_

" _Because if we did without you learning to seal your reiatsu into your body, your sword would attempt to take in the excess, would get overloaded, then explode with more force than a Cero in less than a millisecond."_

Ichigo looked Soifon right in the eye. "...He said bad things." Soifon shook her head. Yoruichi had transformed back into a cat, and curled up in the corner to take a nap.

"Alright, let's start simple. First, do you have any skill with channeling your reiryoku?"

"Yeah, I guess. I kinda have to for the Getsuga Tenshou…"

"Is that the only thing?"

"Yeah. I don't have any other attacks"

"That… May work. The only issue is that the reiryoku is channeled into your _sword_ , when it should be in your _body_ … That is your first lesson."

"What?"

"Learn to generate a Getsuga Tenshou with your hand."

Ichigo looked at her strangely. "You sure that'll work?"

"Positive. The concept is the same, there is merely a difference in location. Once you have managed that, we will work on separating the reiryoku from the intent so that you are channeling pure reiryoku, then focus on containment."

Ichigo looked down at his hand, then shrugged. He visualized his arm as the black blade of Tensa Zangetsu, grabbed hold of reiryoku, and _pushed_.

Soifon jumped up in alarm when black flames manifested on the Substitute's arm. She leapt at him, and brought her hand down on his head- a decision she immediately regretted. Ichigo's head bobbed backwards, breaking his concentration, so the attack fulfilled its purpose, but at a cost. The Strawberry opened his eyes to see Soifon kneeling in front of him, clutching her extremely red hand close to her chest. She was glaring at him with eyes that promised eternal torment.

"Um… what happened?"

* * *

 **More cleaning.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lessons with Soifon sucked. She yelled at him for every little thing, including, but not limited to; being reckless, not trying hard enough, being stupid, being loud, and daring to put his eyes upon her precious Yoruichi-sama. That last one was hardly his fault, since the cat had started yowling at the top of her lungs, and Ichigo _had_ to look. At least to see if there was anything blackmail-worthy.

Other than that, Soifon _was_ an able teacher. She somehow managed to explain things to him in a way that made sense, regardless of the fact that learning to suppress reiatsu was different for every person. Different reserves and ways of thinking were what caused that issue, since not everybody imagined the same solution, and some would not work for certain people. For example… Jinta, with his small reiryoku reserves, could imagine something mundane, like a backpack, to conceal his reiatsu. However, someone like the Captain Commander would probably need something as secure as Muken, the pocket dimension prison where immortal criminals were kept.

There was a reason for that, and that was due to the connotation of the mental constructs. Most people knew what a backpack was, and therefore knew that it was a bag made of cloth, which was not particularly durable. When people think of backpacks, they think of faded, ripped fabric, and having to buy a new one every year or two. Since they knew it was so weak, they would be skeptical if something like that could actually contain massive amounts of reiryoku, and that hesitation would make the whole thing fall apart. However, if they imagined something they believed to be impenetrable, like the Central Great Underground Prison, protected and accessible only by the Captain Commander himself, well… Things were a whole lot easier.

Of course, Ichigo didn't actually know about the Central Great Underground Prison, or he would have been done already. Instead, he had to stumble through just about everything in his memory to find something that would work, but he simply _couldn't_. Not even Zangetsu. Ashamed as he was to admit it, his Zanpakuto had broken too many times for him to trust it at a subconscious level. Even if it was his own fault, for having such a weak resolve...

* * *

"I can't friggin' _do_ this!" Ichigo shouted, flopping onto his back from his sitting position.

"Sit up, you incompetent fool! It has only been a week since you started, and you are already giving up!?" Soifon yelled in return, fingers twitching with the urge to draw Suzumebachi and flay the Substitute alive. Yoruichi lay in the corner in cat form, casually bathing herself while she watched her disciples argue like clockwork. This argument took place at least once every hour, and these idiots seemed to forget it happened each time, because they somehow managed to recreate the same fight without feeling deja-vu. It was quite disturbing, but Yoruichi had dealt with Urahara Kisuke for centuries, so she hardly even noticed. This time, however, Ichigo decided to switch things up. He turned to the black cat.

"Oi, Yoruichi, can't you help me out?" The feline paused her cleaning, tongue sticking out, before pulling back in.

"Hoh? And why would I do that, when you're the one that got me stuck here?" Yoruichi asked, in her incredibly-deep cat voice.

"Because… I'm your favorite?"

Soifon shot to her feet in an instant, rage coursing through her petite form. "Kurosaki, you _dare_ -!?"

"Alright."

The Second Division Captain fell back to the hardwood floor knees suddenly turning to jelly. All her grace as the Commander of the Onmitsukido had deserted her in that moment, as she was given the shock of her life.

"Y-Yoruichi-sama…?"

* * *

"I'm impressed, Ichigo. I think you managed to be the one to finally drive Soifon to drink," Yoruichi commented from her perch on the Substitute Shinigami's right shoulder.

Ichigo chuckled nervously, mouth curled into a confused smile. "Are you sure it was a good idea to just leave her there like that? I think she might try to kill me now…" he whispered, though Yoruichi still picked it up.

"Oh, no doubt she'll come for your neck. She's probably reexamining every bit of information she knows about you, then going out to interrogate some people to get some more, and then plot out your schedule, and strike when you least expect it."

"Oi, oi, don't joke like that…" Ichigo muttered, a bead of nervous sweat rolling down his right temple. Yoruichi decided to increase her entertainment, and licked the salty water droplet. Ichigo flinched away from the sudden contact, then shivered.

"Don't _do_ that! Cat tongues are friggin' _weird!_ " Ichigo cried, rubbing at the assaulted spot.

"So you would have been fine if I did that in my human form?"

"Yeah, probably," Ichigo retorted, hoping to throw the Flash Goddess off balance. Unfortunately, he was a thousand years too early to try and embarrass the Nude Queen herself.

With a puff of smoke, a naked dark-skinned woman was suddenly standing next to the teen. She leaned over, grabbing onto his arm and sandwiching it between her ample, _bare_ breasts. She stood up on her tiptoes, causing Ichigo's hand to come into contact with an… _Interesting_ _place_ , to say the least.

' _Stubble?'_

With her other hand, she tilted his head towards her, since she was just a bit too short to reach. Once she could reach, Yoruichi's luscious lips parted, and her tongue shot out like a lightning bolt, swiping over Ichigo's temple once more. It felt much smoother than the cat's tongue, but in exchange, it was much wetter.

And just like that, the Hero of Soul Society short-circuited, brown eyes wide and head still at an angle.

"Nyeh heh heh!"

* * *

"Hey, old man, you busy?" Ichigo asked as he walked into the office of the Captain Commander. The elderly Shinigami glanced up from the paper he was reading over, and pondered the question. Finally, he set the sheet down, then turned his full attention to the Substitute- anything to avoid the damned paperwork.

"No, not particularly. Is there something you wished to discuss with me, Kurosaki-san?" the man asked genially, somewhat glad for the timely interruption. He was getting bored.

"Yeah. Remember how I went to Soifon to try and figure out how to contain my reiatsu?"

The Captain Commander nodded.

"Well, apparently, I can't think of a suitable vessel for it, since nothing's working. Yoruichi said I should talk to you, since you're probably the only one who can help at this point."

Yamamoto stroked his beard idly. "Hmm. Shihoin-san may be correct. I assume the problem is that nothing you can think of seems durable enough?"

"Yeah. Did you have to deal with that?"

"Occasionally, when I noticed my strength had grown a sizeable amount. Sometimes, I was able to make do, but eventually, doubts started to appear. Fortunately, I have finally found myself a vessel which will never let me down, regardless of how much I grow." The Captain Commander smiled fondly at the thought.

"Really? Mind if I ask what it is?"

"No."

The two descended into silence, simply staring at each other for a long moment. Ichigo finally decided to speak, since it seemed the old man was content to keep quiet forever.

"So… Are you gonna tell me?"

Yamamoto blinked. "Oh! I expected you to actually pose the question. My apologies." He cleared his throat. "As for what I have chosen… Well, I'm surprised you haven't thought of this yet. From what I know, most Shinigami tend to use it as their seal." The Captain Commander reached down next to him, picking up his gnarled wooden cane which had been laying on the floor.

"It is this."

"Uh… A stick?" Ichigo asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Yamamoto opened a single eye to glare balefully at him. "No, you fool!" He slammed the staff against the wood flooring beneath, and the bulbous end on the top burst apart to reveal the hilt of a Zanpakuto. "This is Ryujin Jakka. He is strong enough to contain the flames of the sun, so he is strong enough to contain my reiatsu, which is meager by comparison." Ichigo's eyes widened. He already seen the Zanpakuto in action, but to hear its exact capabilities…

"Woah."

"Indeed. Now, my question is, why have you not done the same?"

Ichigo's lower jaw shifted into a grimace. "Well, that's because…"

"You do not trust your Zanpakuto, eh?" Yamamoto finished for him. Ichigo nodded solemnly, obviously ashamed.

"I just… It's broken before, _twice_ \- it's not Zangetsu's fault, I know that, but-!"

Yamamoto held up a hand, stopping the teen before his tirade could continue. He waited a moment to make sure the Substitute was truly listening, before asking a simple question. "When?"

"Eh?"

"When did your Zanpakuto break?"

"Oh, uh… It was a while ago. Byakuya broke it first, when him and Renji came to the Human World to arrest Rukia. Man, he was so _fast_ back then, he stabbed me twice and I didn't even know…" Ichigo trailed off, a nostalgic grin on his face as he was drawn into his memories. It was a bit odd to the Captain Commander, that someone could remember attaining such a serious injury fondly, so he rapped a knuckle on his desk, bringing the Substitute Shinigami back to reality.

"Ah, sorry! Anyways, the second time was when I was trying to get to the Senzaikyu, and Kenpachi got in the way. He cut right through Zangetsu, but I managed to get my shit together and beat his ass," Ichigo finished, a smirk on his face. It was one of his more iconic victories, along with his win against Byakuya. Yamamoto nodded, ignoring the crude language. He was used to it, considering Zaraki Kenpachi was one of his Captains.

"If I am correct, then this was before your fight against Captain Kuchiki, and thus before you obtained Bankai, yes?"

"Yeah," Ichigo answered, unsure where the old man was going.

"Then, has your Bankai ever broken?"

Ichigo crossed his arms, head tilted to the side as he searched through his memories. "Now that I think about, no."

"Even against foes which were clearly superior to you?"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed in concentration. Against Byakuya, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and even Aizen, Tensa Zangetsu had stayed strong, protecting him from a sure death. The black blade was a constant, allowing him to stand on equal footing with his foes, even if he needed his Hollow mask to get that extra edge to turn a stalemate into victory. He already relied on his Bankai so much. Why not a little bit more?

Ichigo closed his eyes, and set to work.

* * *

When the world began to shake, Yamamoto Genryusai Shigekuni realized exactly what the foolish boy was trying to do- in his _office_ , no less!

The Captain Commander leapt to his feet, Ryujin Jakka finding his way into his wrinkled hand out of long-ingrained instinct. He jumped clear over his desk, intent on bringing his knotted staff down on the hot-headed youth, and snap him out of his idiocy. Inches from collision, Kurosaki's reiatsu seemingly vanished. Yet, Yamamoto could still sense it, barely, meaning…

The other hint was when the Substitute Shinigami's appearance changed. His Shihakusho became more loose, exposing his bare chest, and the sleeves now flowed around his crossed arms. Most noticeable, however, was the sword on his back. Unlike the massive cleaver-like blade that nearly everyone had gotten used to seeing, or the chained hilt of Tensa Zangetsu, a simple black-cloth hilt, with diamond shapes cut into it, protruded from the sheath on Ichigo's back. It still had the black Manji crossguard, though much smaller than before.

Shocked as he was by the sudden revelation, Yamamoto was unable to stop his descent, gravity taking the choice from his hands before he could use his reiryoku to make a stable foothold in the air. Ryujin Jakka slammed into Kurosaki's orange head, knocking the boy onto his rear end. The Captain Commander had more physical strength, as well as thicker skin, than Captain Soifon, so he handled the recoil with hardly a twinge in his aged fingers.

"Oi!" Ichigo shouted, rubbing his incredibly hard head. Just because Yamamoto didn't even wince didn't mean he wasn't surprised at how durable the teen was.

"You imbecile! What possessed you to pull such a stunt here, of all places!?" Yamamoto shouted, using his stern Captain Commander voice. His beard quivered with irritation.

'What d'ya mean!? It worked, didn't it!?" Ichigo shouted back, arms up to protect his head from any further blows. Considering the way the old man was holding his cane, that was a strong possibility.

"Yes, which means you are _incredibly_ lucky- just because you have found a suitable vessel does _not_ equate to you being able to actually use it!"

"Again, it worked, so what's the problem!?"

"YOU DAMNED FOOL!"

* * *

"Ow…" Ichigo muttered, rubbing his throbbing head, hoping to relieve his impending headache. Yamamoto really did not hold back…

"What's got yer panties in a twist, Ichigo?" Yoruichi asked. He had gone back to Soifon's office to tell the Second Division Captain the good news, but instead found the woman lounging on the desk. Well, at least he knew where she went after abandoning him. She probably knew something like that would happen, and didn't want to get caught up in it. Friggin' evil cat.

"The old man got mad at me for figuring out a way to seal my reiatsu."

"Probably because ya did it in his office; I felt that reiatsu spike all the way over here. Is that why ya've got the new get-up?"

"Hmm?" Ichigo glanced down at himself, noting the baggy robes he now wore, and tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"You didn't notice?" Yoruichi asked in amusment. "C'mon, Ichigo, ya can't be _that_ stupid."

"Yeah, well, I was a bit _busy_ making sure the old man didn't take my head off. Seriously, he should've played baseball."

Yoruichi chuckled. "Anyways, what brought ya here?"

"Oh, I was just coming to tell Soifon that she doesn't need to help me anymore. Think you can pass it on?"

"Hoh? You say that like I'll still be here when she comes back."

"Well, you _did_ kinda lose that game of Shunpo Tag and promise that you would stay with Soifon until she lets you leave."

"Keh, damned brat," the cat muttered. "Fine, I'll pass on yer message, but I'll be outta here soon, watch. All I gotta do is ask my precious Little Bee, and she'll be _escorting_ me through a Senkaimon," Yoruichi said smugly, waving her tail in a vaguely irritating manner.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Right, I'm _sure_ Little Bee'll be so quick to let you go. Didn't you abandon her for, like, a century? She's probably got a lot of catching up to do."

Yoruichi's tail straightened up, as if she was struck by lightning. She looked ready to tear into the Substitute Shinigami, but settled for simply hissing menacingly. Her yellow eyes, however, seemed to be filled with a sick sense of gratification when they looked past Ichigo. He turned around slowly, dreading what he would find.

"Kurosaki…!" a familiar feminine voice ground out.

"Uh, hey, Soifon. Where ya been?" ichigo asked, in an attempt to sound casual. However, his voice shook, so the illusion of calm was shattered near-instantly. Of course, what happened next completely ripped the very thought to shreds.

"DON'T CALL ME LITTLE BEE!"

* * *

 **MOAR cleaning! May as well call it Spring Cleaning at this point. This is… The fourth story I've overhauled in the last five weeks? Rewriting is so much easier than writing.**


	4. Chapter 4

"So… Can I go back to the Living World, old man?"

Yamamoto's eye twitched at the blatant lack of respect, despite the fact that he should have long since been used to it.

"Hmph. I suppose you may. However!" Yamamoto cried, startling Ichigo and wiping the smile off his face, "You will be required to bring an able teacher with you. You call yourself a Shinigami!? Then I expect you to have the knowledge, and abilities of one!"

Ichigo was taken aback by the passion in the man's words, but regained his footing quickly. The enthusiasm was apparently infectious.

"Fine, I'll show ya that I can be a Shinigami! And a damned good one at that!" Ichigo yelled back, fists clenched in determination.

* * *

"...That's what I said, but... Who the hell am I gonna ask?" Ichigo muttered, wandering aimlessly through the streets of Seireitei.

He wanted nothing to do with Hat-n-Clogs' bullshit teaching style. The last time, he was literally killed and nearly turned into a damned Hollow! Though he was grateful for the return of his Shinigami powers, Ichigo had never really forgiven the shopkeeper for that stunt. Yoruichi had to stay near Soifon, because she had lost that damned bet, which was his own fault. He regretted it now, because his lessons with Soifon hadn't actually panned out, and now Yoruichi was stuck, depriving him of an 'able teacher'. Then again, the terms of the bet were that she had to stay unless a situation arose where her particular skills were needed…

He obviously couldn't ask any of the Captains, since they had enough work just running a division. That went doubly for Goat-Chin, since the man had to get reacquainted with his subordinates, as well as deal with all the paperwork that had piled up since Tosen Kaname had betrayed Soul Society. There was also the fact that Isshin was still catching up with the people he had skipped out on all those years ago, and Ichigo couldn't find it in his heart to drag his dad away from that. Isshin would have agreed to go back to the Living World with Ichigo in a heartbeat, and that was precisely what Ichigo wanted to avoid.

The Vizards, maybe? Hachi was pretty damned good with Kido, Kensei was definitely a combat specialist, and Mashiro could probably show him how to throw a wicked punch. Then again, he had to talk to them about returning to Soul Society, and retaking their old positions. Divisions 3 and 5 were still missing Captains, and Division 5 needed a new Vice-Captain, since Hinamori Momo was in no way mentally stable. Captain Komamura of Division 7 had been killed by Tosen, so they needed a new Captain, as well. They would be busy reorganizing themselves, and besides, they would have to be in Soul Society to do that, while Ichigo would be in the Living World. It would be too much of a pain.

Maybe… One of the Arrancar? Actually, no. The only ones he had formed any type of camaraderie with were dead now, and the remaining ones probably wanted to kill him for murdering Aizen. Or they wanted to stay away from him, which he was perfectly fine with.

Who else was there, then? Any Shinigami who wasn't busy likely wouldn't be able to teach him much- aside from Kido, of course. Then again, even Renji could show the Strawberry a thing or two about Kido. At least, until one of them blew up in his face.

"Ugh, looks like I'm going back to Yoruichi. _Again_." If nothing else, she could at least point him to someone else. Seriously though, his reliance on that woman was beginning to get ridiculous, if it wasn't already.

* * *

"Ya know, I could help ya out, if only _somebody_ didn't decide it was a good idea to trap me here," Yoruichi said sharply, still irritated with the teen. Soifon was insufferable, and wouldn't allow Yoruichi to leave. The Second Division Captain was being completely unreasonable, even when the cat tried to explain how Kisuke needed somebody to keep his ass in check, before he went and blew up the world or something. Apparently, that wasn't a legitimate need for skills, _which it definitely was_!

"Alright, I'm sorry! Seriously, I didn't know that things would end up like this!" Ichigo cried, waving his hands in exasperation. "Can't you just play the Sensei-card or something?"

"You think I didn't try that!?" Yoruichi asked, sounding vaguely insulted, "That girl clings to me tighter than a child with a safety blanket in a thunderstorm, and nothing I say gets through to her! It's been worse ever since we pulled that stunt about favorites, which in hindsight, was a pretty bad idea."

Ichigo grimaced. "Well, can't you just leave without telling her?"

"No, absolutely not!" Yoruichi shouted, transforming back into her human form for a moment, voice becoming more feminine. "If I did that again, she would go insane, and I can't do that to her!" The dark-skinned woman exhaled heavily in an attempt to calm down, then shifted back into a black cat. "Anyways, why can't ya find somebody else to help ya?"

"Because everybody else is busy with Captain duties, isn't in the Living World, or can't show me anything worthwhile. It doesn't have to be you, but I just don't know who else to ask."

Yoruichi purred in contemplation. "Have ya asked Kisuke?"

"No, and I won't! Remember the _last_ time he trained me!?"

"...Oh, yeah." Ichigo's eyebrow twitched, and he looked ready to shout some more, but he restrained himself. It wouldn't do to get angry at the person he was trying to get help from.

"Okay, how about _I_ talk to her?"

Yoruichi snorted, a sound which translated pretty well in her cat form. "So yer just gonna ignore the fact that she wants to kill ya?"

"Well, no," Ichigo muttered, shoulders slumping slightly, "But I'm pretty sure she won't _actually_ do it. And if she does try, it's not like I'm completely defenseless, you know."

Yoruichi nodded her head in acceptance. "Well, I suppose ya may as well take a seat. I don't know where she is right now, but she'll be back sooner or later."

* * *

"You have some nerve, Kurosaki," Soifon growled, startling Ichigo awake. He had laid down on the hardwood floor to catch a nap, since he had nothing else to do. It was uncomfortable, sure, but he'd had worse. The Substitute Shinigami pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing at his eyes and ruffling his orange hair. He let out a small yawn.

"Hey, Soifon, just the Little Bee I wanted to see," Ichigo said, grinning at the Captain. She narrowed her eyes, and laid a hand on Suzumebachi's hilt.

"What are you doing here?" she asked irately. She was too tired to deal with him at the moment, or she would have definitely attacked him. Correcting the incompetency of her Vice-Captain tended to drain her energy. That damned Omaeda, how had he ended up as the Vice-Captain of the Second Division, which specialised in stealth and interrogation? He was as loud as he was fat, and to top all off, as squeamish as a school-girl.

Oh, right. _Politics_.

Soifon managed to clear those thoughts from her head, reminding herself that she was having a conversation, no matter how unpleasant, with Kurosaki. It wouldn't do to be unprofessional in front of the Substitute- she refused to sink to his level!

"Remember how I asked you for help with concealing my reiatsu?" Soifon nodded, becoming annoyed as she remembered how useless he was as a student. "And remember how I made that bet with Yoruichi, that she would stay near you until you said otherwise?" Soifon nodded again, slower this time, not liking where this was going. "Well, I kinda need you to say otherwise."

Soifon decided that decorum could be ignored, for at least a little bit. She pulled her Zanpakuto out of its sheath, the blade screeching against the scabbard, grating on the ears of everyone present. Yoruichi, had to cover her ears with her paws; as a cat, her hearing was a bit more sensitive.

"Kurosaki…!" she growled, bending her knees slightly, ready to pounce.

Ichigo grimaced. "Wait, just listen for a bit!" He held up his hands in a placating manner, and it seemed to work, because he wasn't being stung to death. Yet.

"Speak quickly, or I will torture you," Soifon ground out. Her knuckles turned white from how hard she was gripping her short sword.

"See, I want to go back to Living World, but the old man says I have to bring someone with me to teach me how to be a proper Shinigami, which includes the normal four disciplines, as well as some history and traditions. And the laws, since the old man doesn't want me to have the excuse of ignorance next time I do something crazy, which is rude, because I don't normally-"

"And I suppose you want to bring Yoruichi-sama with you?" Soifon asked quietly, cutting him off. The boy took a second to register the question.

"Um, yeah. She's kinda the only person I know who's not busy with Captain stuff. I really need to go back home, since I've got school to deal with, and Kon can only pass off as me for so long, so…"

Soifon silently glared at Ichigo for a long while, causing the teen to fidget and sweat, desperately glancing around the sparsely-decorated room to avoid her intense gaze. After a long moment, she turned her eyes to Yoruichi, who had been lounging on top the desk in cat form like always.

"What do you think about this, Yoruichi-sama?" The cat stopped licking the back of her left paw, glancing up with what looked like disdain, but was closer to disinterest.

"It wouldn't hurt to help him out. Besides," Yoruichi said, her tone turning mischievous, "I can't refuse when such a cute boy is practically begging this Onee-san for help!" It was odd to hear such a deep voice uttering those words, but Ichigo ignored that in favor of examining Soifon's reaction. She didn't seem to be about to fly off the handle and murder everything in sight, so that was good. However, she also didn't seem like she was going to let go of Suzumebachi anytime soon, the consequences of which remained to be seen. Knowing his luck, though, it was probably going to be something bad for his health.

"How long will this take?" Soifon asked, turning another glare on Ichigo.

He pursed his lips in concern. "See, about that…"

The Onmitsukido Commander didn't like his hesitation, and made that known by stepping toward him in a menacing manner. The Strawberry's eyes widened, and he tensed up, ready to explode into movement, should the need arise. He desperately hoped it wouldn't.

"I don't really know, because I'm kind of a rookie when it comes to this whole Shinigami business, so… A while?"

By this time, the Captain's eyes had narrowed to slits, and her lips were starting to curl downwards in a tight frown. She shifted her grip on her Zanpakuto slightly, as if debating whether to throw it, or just run over and gut him. Ichigo hoped she chose option three; don't harm the Substitute Shinigami.

"It would be… _Selfish_ , of me to keep Yoruichi-sama here like a prisoner, when her skills are so obviously needed elsewhere. As such, I will allow her to go to the World of the Living with you." The tension melted out of Ichigo, and a wide grin overtook his face. He opened his mouth to express his gratitude, but was cut off when Soifon made a chopping motion with her empty hand.

"However!" she cried loudly, startling the teen and the cat, who both jumped slightly. In Yoruichi's case, her fur and tail stood on end. "I do not wish to be apart from Yoruichi-sama for so long- not after we have just been reunited." Ichigo had been expecting something like that, though he was surprised it took this long. Everyone who was anyone knew about Soifon's obsession with the exiled Head of the Shihoin Clan.

"As such, I will be coming with you."

* * *

 **Spring cleaning done. For this story, at least.**


End file.
